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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Cheat on the UN part 2.

Some readers have asked for clarifications regarding my post "Dump the UN? No, cheat on it." in the comments section. Yeah, right. I have one reader (Thanx NHB-Wannabe) and he didn't bother to comment. (Thanx for nothing.) But like Walt Whitman I contain multitudes, and THEY want clarifications. So here goes.

RE: The U.S. reserving the right to kick members out of LORDs. (League of Republics Democratic ... that acronym is the money, right?)

To clarify, the U.S. would only be allowed to do this if a member nation ceased to be a democratic republic. We couldn't kick, say, France out, because, say, France is full of cheese eating surrender monkeys. But we could kick Russia out if Putin's Russia continues to go where PUtin wants to take it. But the U.S. is judge, jury, and executioner. We decide. This way we don't have to worry about that whole Libya-being-on-the-Human-Rights-Commission thingy.

RE: The girlfriend metaphor. One of my personalities wonders if the UN has really been bad enough to dump, and requests clarification about where the UN would be if it was a girlfriend. And how serious is this girlfriend, anyway? Well, let's say you've said "I love you" to her, and meant it, but then you kind of regretted saying it. You're emotionally involved, you're serious about her, but you're not sure you should be. That's pretty much where we are with the UN, I'd say. Given that, here's a list of things such a girlfriend can do that make her dumpable, going from "You Shouldn't Dump But You'd Think About It" to "Dump HER YOU FOOL!!!"

1. Let's a guy approach her, convince her he "just wants to be friends," and accepts his phone number.
2. Asks you for some cash "to help me out" and spends it on her girlfriends' Christmas presents.
3. Let's a guy approach her, convince her he "just wants to be friends," and gives him her number.
4. Meets that guy she gave the number to for lunch. For brevity's sake, I'll call him... Zack. (No, there is and never was a Zack in my life, lol)
5. Asks you for some cash "to help me out," and spends your money buying Zack a shirt.
6. Has phone sex with Zack.
7. Has sex with Zack.
8. Has sex with Zack, in a hotel room she paid for with your money.
9. Has sex with Zack in your home and then helps him steal your money.

I'd say the UN has pulled a 9 on us, wouldn't you? You wouldn't? Well how about this...

10. Has sex with Zack and 6 of Zacks friends before helping them steal everything out of your house... and... er.. That was after she led them to ambush you in your entryway... which left you bleeding from the ears, unconscious... and then she stuck your pinky in warm water so you pissed yourself... er... is that enough?

Okay... so THAT'S where we are with the UN. And, let's face it folks, the sex ain't that good anyway.


  • At 11:38 AM, Blogger big_wannabe said…

    I liked Part 1 the best. My comment on it was "f*ckin awesome!"

    One may view it where I hang out here: http://www.jiujitsugear.com/forum/index.php?topic=38959.msg526859#msg526859

    Keep up the good work Hark!

  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Crazy Diamond said…

    We seem to have gone through the successive stages with the UN. Hope you don't have to come up with a #11!

  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger Harkonnendog said…

    Yeah. I'd have to get into necrophilia or something, lol.


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