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Friday, June 02, 2006

Jacob's still coming along- an example.

For those of you, assuming there are any, who are wondering why I've stopped posting regularly, it is because I'm busting ass on my 3rd novel JACOB. It is coming along. To give you an idea I'm going to paste part of my Jacob Projects document, which is where I write about writing. I've italicized it and cut some parts that were overly embarassing and/or give up too much of the plot. Becoming a nicotine addict and then using the nicotine as a bribe to write is working pretty well. Maybe too well, lol.

Anyway, if anybody is wondering how a demented writer's mind works, or at least my demented mind, here you go:



Didn’t print anything over the weekend. Going to make a whaddaya call… where I list things. Outline. Okay I’ve created an outline form called Jacob Timeline Outline document. This should work. I can just plug in the chapters and then plug the text into the chapters… Eventually make an organized whole out of it. Try to start earlier tomorrow.



Work on timeline, pluggin in chapters that are done. Should I plug in the done chapters first, then go to JACOB FIXES ROUNDUP document and plug in fixes? I guess that’s the plan.


Bathroom break.


Looks like I don’t have a chapter list, which would definitely help when it comes to plugging this stuff in. Found it, from 9/7/05. Need to fix it before I can plug it in. It is called JACOB CHAPTER LIST. Done, and plugged in up ‘till plane ride on Day 3. There’s a problem now. So far things have moved chronologically and but the plane ride involves flashbacks. A bunch of them. Do I want to punch them in here, or later? Also, do I want to do this timeline chronologically and THEN decide where to punch in the flashbacks?

Thinking I’ll do that- timeline now and punch in flashback later…. Okay.

3:32 (some customer interruptions but a lot of good work done)

I’m through DAY 4 now, and satisfied with the chronology and the events. I’ve done a bit of outlining since then but I’m not sure about it. Think I’ll be taking some chapters out after this point- making some major changes so no use in outlining. That should probably wait ‘till tomorrow as I’m a bit wasted right now.



Checked the timeline it does need some changing towards the end, but the entire things needs some changes, from plugging in JACOB FIXES ROUNDUP etc. So let’s try to plug those in now. I’m getting ahead of myself thinking I’m ready to plug in text at this point. Not there yet.


Okay all the JACOB FIXES ROUNDUP are now in the Jacob Timeline Outline document. Things are moving quickly, actually. Need to print it out and look at it for a while. Things to ponder

1. Where do Ella’s flashbacks go? Gotta remember that you don’t want to ruin the narrative of the story.

2. Where do Jacob’s flashbacks go? Again, can’t ruin the narrative of the story!

3. Should I figure out the page/word count of all these chapters and include it in the timeline? The narrative is not EVEN, some things are described in way more detail than others, and it wasn’t done consciously.

4. Beyond that, some things that are LESS important, are described MORE. Gotta change that.

Thinking Jacob flashbacks should begin VERY early on. Maybe even intersperse them with Kestine flashback from the beginning. Don’t want to screw up the narrative.

The biggest problem I have in JACOB now is the fact that Jenny is recruiting Jake to get to Kestine’s computer because Jake is Kestine’s son. That’s the biggie. And I don’t know how to get around it. It is an abuse of suspension of disbelief… So what to do? Brazen it out- put it right there in the very beginning of the book- HERE’S THE BIG PREMISE- TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! Or try to slide it in sideways??? I don’t know…



Going to do these from yesterday:

3. Should I figure out the page/word count of all these chapters and include it in the timeline? The narrative is not EVEN, some things are described in way more detail than others, and it wasn’t done consciously.

4. Beyond that, some things that are LESS important, are described MORE. Gotta change that.

Or… no, better to transfer the pen edits to the computer so that the count will be accurate. Going to plug the changes in chapter by chapter to avoid frustration.

Will do it in a new document called Jacob Timeline Outline with Text.

Starting with:

Ch. 3: The Professor – Done with it. Got some interruptions from customer etc.

2:05 now.

Maybe she should JUST GET THE PAGE and it just has a number on it. The Date of the Pro Bowl! Yeah, that’s it. Ch. 5: The Message, is CUT.

Just changed Ch. 3: The Professor. The change works!!! YES! This would be an excellent opening chapter.


Working on Ch. 4: The Delivery Man.


Just finished Ch. 4: The Deliver Man. 3:13.

Ch. 2: The Amphitheater, and Chapter 6: Jenny’s Sales Pitch are next. But do I need to combine them with the now gone Ch. 1: The Seal?

I don’t know. Don’t see how The Amphitheater works with The Seal…

Okay- I’m thinking there will be a short, VERY quick confrontation in The Seal- and it will be the result of her getting flustered because he makes her horny, more than anything else. (Going on that premise for now, anyway.)

After the confrontation she should realize she will be up all night castigating herself. This is good for her character development and will help keep some stuff in Amphitheater.

Finished Ch. 2: The Amphitheater, but there’s a problem. She’s complaining she’s hot and it is January. Why would she be hot? Fixed. Easy fix. Put in body language stuff.

4:18 now. Take a little break.

Got back into it because of the cigar. J Ch. 6: Jenny’s Sale Pitch, is going okay. But there’s too much dialogue and exposition and NOTHING else is happening. It would be very good to intersperse this with something else, the way that girl worked the elevators. Some kind of symbol showing Jake going up and down- something- arghh… you could have the war-protest get violent, but in a stupid funny way. Show the protestors being asses, acting incredibly self-important etc., while the adults are having a serious conversation about protecting America. Have their dialogue, which is real, and is serious, interrupted by calls of Takbir! (whatever the fuck that means) and etc. in bold while this conversation takes place. You could have Eric over at Classical Values give you a decent idea of a setting for this, too… For now, and for tomorrow, keep up with the standard rewrite of the dialogue, and then kick in with the rest of it on the next version of the rewrite. Good stuff for tomorrow.

5:00 now. Jeannie’s a bit late.

So you can think I’m an asshole all you want,” said Jake. “Okay? Think I’m all rotten inside or whatever. I’d rather be an asshole than help the people you work for.”

The above bolded is where I am on the Jacob Timeline Outline rewrite of Ch. 6: Jenny’s Sale Pitch. Something else to keep in mind- I’m having Jacob balk- and that’s okay- but he doesn’t necessarily have to balk as long and as hard- he doesn’t have to explain WHY he is balking to Jenny. He can just balk.



Just finished the dialogue rewrite of Ch. 6: Jenny’s Sales Pitch. It is better than before, but still awfully long. Gotta remember there are two parts to it: The exposition where Jenny tells Jake and the reader what is going to happen, and Jake’s balk. Or, wait, there’s more. There is also Jake’s mother and father and Arab-Jewishness being introduced, so really it is 3 parts.


Part 1- Farazee/Takbir

Part 2- Anarchist/Jews in LEO satellites OR

Part 3- Mini-riot/Pepper spray.

Having a bit of a difficult time with this… 12:24 short break.

The two chapters together are- 7.5 pages. Another problem- Jenny gives Jake Kesine’s name and location BEFORE he agrees to help, and he does NOT agree not to contact her before the date- that really puts the FBI out on a limb. So have Jenny do the sale’s pitch BEFORE she tells Jake the names- JUST do the sales pitch, sans the intro to the mom and dad.

Just have Jenny show him the picture of his mother- and then do the sales pitch. Then you can do the rest on the plane.


Okay got that done. Rough a bit- but basically done. And it is cut from 3.5 to 2.25 pages to boot. It could probably be cut quite a bit more. But time for a break. Oh, and it is in a new document: Chapter 2 Latest Rewrite.


Been working on Jacob again since 5/19/06. Easy to get discouraged considering how much there is to do. Must remember that progress IS being made, however slowly. It may take a year to finish Jacob- if so- hey, that’s just a bigger accomplishment, in a way.


Okay- I guess I’ll just copy Ch. 2: Latest Rewrite and paste it into Ch. 2 The Amphiteater. Might eventually change the chapter’s name to “The War Protest.” Done.

The remnants of Ch. 6: Jenny’s Sale’s Pitch:

Need to be put into: Ch. 15: PLANE RIDE WITH KESTINE BIO AND UNDERCOVER IDENTITIES or somewhere.

12:31 Now. What to do next? Doing Ch. 7: The Workout. Having the kind of problems that make me want to quit. The description of Danny’s Gym is what’s doing this to me. Well, start over. Do it right.

1:22 now. Some quality work there. Ch. 7 Danny’s Gym is one of the ones I thought was okay. Obviously not. Much cleaner now, so far. But I’ve reached a sticking point less than halfway through- again. Ergh. Taking a break.

3:03 Time to start on it again. Nice to finish it today.

3:35 Done with Ch. 7: The Workout, BUT! Ch. 11: Jake’s Still Trying to Deal, is now combined with it.

3:47 That was easy. Done. Good stuff, too, I think. Time to introduce Glenda from GLENDA CHAPTER

4:05 Done, except it is in the wrong tense. Taking a break. I really like the way it is written and I’m not sure I want to change it.


11:35 I’m pushing ahead here, even though the previous chapters I’ve done on the Timline Outline with Text aren’t completely done done. There will be time for that particular detail work later.

I’m still trying to get a workable rough draft now.

So we’re on Ch. 8: Another Way to Skin a Cat-

But first- found some forgotten notes on back of Ch. 7: The Workout- transcribing.

1. Gnome calls SF contact

2. SF contact tell Jenny to check out this guy Jacob, see if he’ll help. (This would mean that JENNY is the one really pushing Jacob. SHE’S responsible, due to her work-ethic, ambition, whatever, for the intensity of the pursuit. )

Text- We’re in crisis mode here. It’s like the end of Indiana Jones. We’re working our way through that huge warehouse. That’s our job. It takes time.

3. DID 3 already.

4. Salahuddin kills, takes other guys identity BEFORE Kestine hears he’s coming. (solved this already, right?)

5. Salahuddin should buy the horse pills BEFORE he kills and takes Mohammed’s identity.

(This is an interesting idea. And… maybe… anyway the way the horse pill chapter and the Salahuddin chapter are written they could easily be switched. Something to keep in mind for the spacing, definitely. Bit. Really, the idea is that the horse pills come on the market, and THAT’S what sparks everything. But no, you just have to cut the horse-pill purchase all together, because if Salahuddin didn’t have them, he would never have had the operation in the 1st place. UNLESS the guy he gets the horse pills from is the guy who called Kestine and Salahuddin- the guy being watched etc. That’s probably the way to do it. Mention that the guy with the horse pills is known, by voice if nothing else, and that he barely escaped a few times? This is pretty important need to remember. )

More from back of Ch. 7

Have Jake and Kestine have their flashbacks during sex…

Jake with Glenda and Jenny

Kestine with Rodney and Salahuddin? (hmmm really like this. She fucks Rodney and then has her goons take him away?

Have Salahuddin try to kill Kesinte after he fucks her? (Like this too- she escapes because of what she did to Rodney the night before.)

This isn’t from the sheet, but remembered Dr. K told me about the blight in Waikiki. Will find that and paste it:

“the currents are a big issue. Where did he start it he water? The currents run from Moloka'i direction and to the West. If he landed in the water off Daimondhead, he would have a rough go at first, but then get into easy water as he got closer to Waikiki. That might work really well, because as he got weaker and weaker the swimming conditions would get easier. I suspect you can find out how far out the Daimondhead bouy from the beach. I'd guess a mile or 1 1/2 but not two. He he went in just outside of that, he'd naturally drift towards Waikiki (in the direction of the trade winds, too) and into the calmer and flater waters of the bight of Waikiki. He would wind up further from shore, but with an easier swim. Also, as he went more and more west he could get aroud the most dangerous reefs and into the mixed sand and dead reef of Wiakiki (thanks Army Corps of Engineers). His wim would be more and more lit up as he got away from the dark Daimondhead and Kapiolani Park area and off the really well lit Waikiki hotels (environmentally hostile, by the way). All those variables could give it some nice drama and realism.

The total mileage would be about 4 or 5 miles. One person in bad shape could survive that but only because the last part was the easiest.

I demand a maholo int he acknowldegements page.

The bouy has a green flashing light and he could aim for it but get pulled past it and into the bight of Waikiki.”

Okay, now I’ll plug this stuff into the timeline. Almost forgot I always have to do that. Half the reason things are fucked up is because I keep on thinking of things and forgetting them. That’s what the timeline/outline is for- MUST REMEMBER TO USE IT ALWAYS.

12:05 now. Kind of amazing how quickly I get stuff done when I’m actually doing stuff.

Takin’ a break!


Back to Ch. 8: Another Way to Skin a Cat


Done with 8: Another way to Skin a Cat, but honestly why is that there at all? Leave it for now. Can dump it or more likely combine it with another chapter later.

Now that I’m done I find THIS on the back of the chapter:

Idea on how to fix 8&9:

Have Jenny, in motion, Drive

Convince Tech to track Jake

Review Gene Mayberry’s file. He has a file due to Free Republic activity.

Jenny found no file on Jake at all. Whatever he did was deeply classified. Beyond her. So she studied the dad to get ideas about him.

All of which makes a LOT of sense and can easily fit into one chapter- so do that. Then do Ch. 20: Salahuddin picks up the package. Makes sense, I think.

Okay, making a new document- call it Ch 8 and 9 Combined. Then I’ll plug that in once it is done.

1:43 Gotta take a shit.

3:35 Took a long break after that shit. Okay. I’ve fixed Ch. 9 in yet another separate file, Ch. 9 Fix for Chapter 8 and 9 Combined… the cigar and coffee combo is just ripping through me now, I’m high and energized as hell, blinking like crazy. WHOO!!! The writing might really such when I review it, but for now I’ll push through. Now to combine them.

Take a break first? Nah, drink some coffee and push through. Nah, taking a break. I’ll drink more coffee though.