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Friday, May 13, 2005

Jane Fonda? I don't get it.

I'm a conservative, conservative populist, enterpriser, mainstream republican (if you believe in such things) moderate righty (again if u don't consider moderate righty the equivalent of bunny rabbit), et cetera et cetera.

I'm not going to see any movie with Jane Fonda in it.
I'll see a Sean Penn movie. He's an idiot about politics but he's great actor.
I'll see a movie with... aghhh... the guy in The Shawshank Redemption, married to the lady that used to have great breasts... Tim Robbins! I'll see his movies because he stars in a lot of great movies even if he isn't a great actor and even if he is an idiot about politics.
But Jane Fonda is a mediocre actress. She's never in great movies. She had a bod and now it is 60 years old... So I won't see her movies because she's an idiot about politics. If she was in a De Niro or a Pa Cino or a Harriss Ino flick okay. But Jennifer Lopez doens't have that kind of pull. (Maybe if her ass was as big as it was back in her In Living Color days, but she worked that booty off, and my heart melted away with the buttocks fat.)

I'm not part of a national boycott or anything. I'm not calling for one. I just don't like Fonda.

I watch probably 10-20 movies a year, depending on the movies and the circumstances (read: who watches the kid.) I'm probably very representative of the 51% who voted Bush, which are, what, 20% of all people who are voting age? (I pulled that number out of the air, but the air around me is better at guessing than you would guess.)

So why would anybody cast this dumb bitch? There are tons of hottie older ladies who could have played this role just as well or better who didn't striptease atop tanks to tittilate the AK toting totalitarians in Vietnam. If you're determined to cast a lefty oldie there is still no shortage. What about those ladies from that '80s show about interior design... you remember- the one with 4 white southern ladies and Anthony the Slave... er, Anthony the ex-con laborer. Any of them could have done it.

Or how about Mr Kotter's wife? She was fine! How about the brunette from Three's Company? You'd get a lot of nostalgia mileage off a casting job like that. What about Kathleen Turner- she still has the sexy voice if nothing else. What about- if you want a freak for publicity- what about Zsa Zsa Gabor! If William Shatner can make a comeback Zsa Zsa can too! The mom from Family Ties! (I'm freaking out here I'm so excited!!!)

Anyway you get the point. Why cast Jane Fonda? I don't get it.


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