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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tammy Bruce is a genius.

I'd say great minds think alike, but I'm not that familiar with Tammy Bruce and I lack a great mind. Of course Tammy Bruce may have a great mind, which would mean we DON'T think alike, generally, but we thought alike this once. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, yesterday the Althouse mentioned the Golden Globes and I commented on the best drama nominees, though I've seen none of them. This morning I saw the Instapundit and Ace of Spades linked to a Tammy Bruce article about them.

The thing is, Tammy Bruce saw these movies, and I did not. But as you’ll see, I didn’t really need to see them to know them. The movie titles are regular, my comments are italicized, and Tammy Bruce’s are bolded. So-

Movie Title:
Me over at Althouse yesterday:
Tammy Bruce:

Brokeback Mountain:
Gay cowboys sans pudding victimized by evil mainstream attitudes-
A love story between two gay sheepherders (erroneously labeled 'cowboys' by the media, I suppose because they wear hats).

The Constant Gardener:
bureacrat victimized by evil government and private entities-
A film about, as one movie-going reviewer noted, "...the horrors of big business and the way they are willing to experiment on the poor to achieve their goals..."

Good Night, and Good Luck:
reporter trying to defend people victimized by evil government-
A film portraying as noble the efforts of journalists to demonize and "take down" a US Senator whose anti-communist policies they did not like.

A History of Violence:
regular guy being persecuted by evil gangster-
The demonization of the average mid-western American man as someone who is no hero, but a cold-blooded killer at heart.
(I missed a little bit on this one, bummer)

Match Point:
neurotic loser being persecuted by sexual desire-

And lastly, a Woody Allen film about infidelity. Well, he should know.

Pretty close. And our conclusions?

Hrm... Every one of these movies sounds boring.

Hollywood honchos continue to wring their hands over why you've stopped going to the movies. They blame ticket prices and DVD availability. They had better start considering the fact that filmmakers are so disconnected, so nihilistic, that the hopelessness and hostility they feel toward the world now permeates their work. Americans will no longer go see movies which are nothing more than the manifestation of the backwash of malignant narcissists. We're also sick and tired of listening to actors lecture us about how awful the US is…

Tammy Bruce and I agree that they are boring. She says it better than I do, or at least longer, but I think neither of us said WHY these kinds of movies are boring. They are boring because they are cliché. These movies are like the ubiquitous blue jeans every single nonconformist in America wore in the sixties.

You aren’t daring if you do the same thing all your peers are doing, but with a twist. And you aren’t subversive if you make millions of dollars doing it and/or get invited to great big award shows. And you aren’t original if your movie parrots MSM talking points. You just suck.

Don't get me wrong. These might be excellent movies. But for those of us who want something different, something original, they don't work.

I've edited the title of this post because it was a bad joke.


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