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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My friend in Saudi Arabia called-

Him: There's a difference between a fairy tale and a war story.

Me: What?

Him: A fairy tale starts with once upon a time and war story starts with 'You won't believe this shit.'

Him: The food here sucks. The beef tastes like shit. If you're not eating beef you're eating fucking camel.

Me: What's camel taste like?

Him: Tastes like shit. Everything has curry in it. These fucking people and their curry.

These guys make pastry like you wouldn't belive. Oh they don't fuck around when it comes to pastry man. There's nobody in the world makes pastries like these motherfuckers. You have a fuckin' pastry and you just about go into a coma. But they eat the shit out of that. These fucking guys are serious about their pastries.

Pastries and coffee. They make super strong coffee. You know like a doll's cup that your daughter would play with? That's the size of their coffee. And believe me that's enough. Two of htose and your good to go.

It's amazing too because Saudis are the laziest fuckers in the world. I mean 70% of the workforce is foreigners. These are not people who like to work.

Don't even let me get into how these people drive. You think Thailand is bad? Most of the stoplights don't work, like they're made in the 30's. But you know when the light changes 'cause the SECOND it changes everyone starts honking. I mean these people are in a huge fucking hurry to get nowhere.

You'd have to be doing Mach 30 for a cop to pull you over here. I've never seen a cop pull anybody over in the last year.

It's not all bad. There are some interesting, neat things here. Typical crime is non-existent. If you leave your wallet in a supermarket, in a store, anywhere else in the world it is gone before you get out the door. Here you can go back and get it the next day. They cut your hand off if you're stealing. It's effective.


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