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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Why DERAILED sucks... Ebert too, of course.

Jennifer Anniston is the sexy, especially now that her steroid-swollen jaws have receded, but her new movie DERAILED sucks. I haven't seen it but I don't have to...

The Ebert review is here. This is the important part:

They exchange business cards. They meet for lunch. Lunch becomes dinner. Dinner becomes a hotel. Sex becomes a necessity, and then a brutal man with a French accent (Vincent Cassel) breaks into the room, knocks Charles almost unconscious and rapes Lucinda.

Charles tells his wife Deanna (Melissa George) that he worked late at the office and then was mugged. Deanna buys this story, I guess. She is one of the more trusting wives in movie history. But the nightmare is not over. The mugger, named Philippe, has Charles' name and phone number. He guesses, correctly, that Charles and Lucinda did not call the police (she's married, too). He has blackmail in mind.

Forget about how stupid this is... The movie introduces Charles and the first really important thing we learn about him is that he fucks around on his wife with strange women.

Okay, this movie blows. Charles is the hero. But I don't give a crap about Charles. I mean I know nothing about who he is except one thing- he cheats on his wife. So why should I care about him?

Maybe if the movie had established that Charles was noble and decent and good, somehow, then I would forgive him and care. But the movie doesn't establish that- I mean it simply can't do that when his being an adulterer is established during the 1st 3rd of the film.


I guess Ebert and everybody who makes movies like this miss the forest for the trees...


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