Bookmark me or the Baron will pull my heart plug thingy.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Caught The Adventures of Ford Fairline last night.

It is better than people think. Sure, the plot sucked, but some of the dialogue is fantastic. This bit stars Al Bundy as Lt. Amos:

Lt. Amos: See, that's the difference between a great investigator like me, and a piece of spam like you.
Ford Fairlane: Spam? You're a piece of spam. That's what I think of you.
Lt. Amos: No, I call you a piece of spam, 'cos that's what you are.
Ford Fairlane: Spam.

hehehe. Then there's the scene with the hot rich lady who explains that because she's rich-

Colleen Sutton: Nothing disgusts me. At the age of eleven I walked in on my father and the Shetland pony. Does that excite you?
Ford Fairlane: I don't know, I never met your father.


There's a bunch of that shit... Andrew Dice Clay was ahead of his time. Old School, Wedding Crashers, Anchor Man etc., they all combine Clay's irreverence with a little more self-deprecation and a lot more charm. But what Clay was really missing- all the characters in those movies are punished for their Diceitosity, much as Clay was in real life, so you've got a nice little morality play. You can enjoy the irreverence because it is avenged.

All popular literature, as I've said a thousand times to my other-self, the one who rides dragons in that land you see through the magic mirror when you ditch school to read novels, (NOT the one where you ditch school to have a one-man orgy involving shoplifted KY Jelly and Victoria's Secret catalogs pulled from the neighbors trash) involve a morality tale that REINFORCES and okays current morality.

Yeah, even the ones you think are doing the opposite, are actually doing the same. For instance, you like freak boy from American Beauty NOT because he fools his dad, but because he fools his dad out of love. Sorry, but that's right. Get over it. You are all middle-class fugs. It is a good thing. Orgies really are overrated, take it from one who knows.


Post a Comment

<< Home